In Memoriam: BERNARD, Claude

Claude Bernard remembered as a loving father-to-be, musician, friend and family man

Claude Bernard’s family and friends remember the Sarnia man for his laugh, his music, his blue eyes, his beautiful smile and the life he should have had with the daughter he never got to meet.

Claude Joseph Bernard was only 22 years old when his life was tragically taken on June 6, 1993. More than three decades later, those who loved him say his absence is still felt in every milestone, every family gathering and every memory of the young man who was preparing to become a father.

Born Jan. 18, 1971, Claude graduated from St. Clair High School and worked full-time for Canadian Bearings. He loved hockey, especially the Montreal Canadiens, and enjoyed playing guitar, riding his bike through Canatara Park, and making people laugh.

“He loved to make others laugh by acting silly,” Wendy said. “Most of all, he loved his family.”

At the time of his death, Claude was eagerly waiting for the arrival of his baby girl, Jessica. She was born two weeks later, on Father’s Day, June 20, 1993.

“Claude couldn’t wait to welcome his baby girl Jessica into the world,” Wendy, Jessica’s mother, said.

Jessica has spent her life grieving the father she never had the chance to know, while also holding onto the love he left behind.

“I’ve spent 33 years wishing and dreaming of the father you would have been,” Jessica wrote in a message to her dad. “Attending my sports games, watching me graduate college, walking me down the aisle and watching you become a pepe to my two boys. Everything you should have been here for.”

She said her father is missed every day.

“Until we meet for the first time, I will never stop thinking about you,” Jessica wrote. “Keep sending me signs you are here. I love you dad.”

For Claude’s sister, Lorraine Bernard, the memories are both ordinary and deeply treasured.

“To my brother, I miss you and all our memories together,” she wrote. “Like fighting over who was going to ask mom for $20 for pizza.”

Lorraine said she wishes there had been more time for Claude to make memories with his nephews, to meet his daughter and to become a grandfather.

“I wish you were here to have met your daughter,” she wrote. “You would have been a gramps to two boys. I love and miss you so much.”

Friends also remember Claude as someone who brought warmth, humour and music into the lives of the people around him.

One dear friend said the thought of Claude still brings a smile, even after all these years.

“Every time I think of Claude, I smile,” the friend shared. “After 33 years, I can still hear his laugh — at least a little. Time has a way of turning the volume down on memories. I’ve noticed that the sound of his voice and laugh has grown quieter in my mind, but somehow the feeling they left behind never has.”

They remembered Claude’s “smile as big as the man himself,” his large hands wrapped around a guitar and a deep voice that seemed made for country music.

“He was the kind of person who was easy to be around — comfortable, genuine, and always a good friend,” the tribute continued. “He had a way of making ordinary moments more fun simply by being there.”

Claude’s love of music is a memory shared by many. Another friend described him as someone who was always ready for a good time and always drawn to a guitar.

“He loved all music, whether it was hard rock or classic country,” the friend said. “If there was a guitar around, it wasn’t very long before it was in his hands. He sure had talent. I loved hearing him play.”

That same friend said there is no doubt Claude would have been a loving father and grandfather.

“I know he would’ve been an excellent father and grandfather,” the friend said. “Miss you lots brother, love ya.”

For those closest to Claude, his death was not only the loss of a young man, but the loss of an entire future.

It was the loss of a father walking his daughter down the aisle. The loss of a grandfather meeting his grandsons. The loss of family dinners, birthdays, hockey games, music, laughter and all the ordinary moments that make up a life.

“Claude had many dreams for our family,” Wendy said. “He was tragically taken from all of us.”

She described him as a son, brother, uncle, partner and soon-to-be father.

“He’s forever missed by all family and friends.” she said.

One longtime friend said that, for many years, guilt was part of the grief. Claude had not been sure about going to the Tragically Hip concert in Detroit that night. His baby was due in a couple of weeks, and he thought he should stay close to home. But friends convinced him to come along.

“Of all the memories I have of Claude, that’s the one I sometimes wish my mind would let go of,” the friend said.

Over time, the friend said they have tried to set down the guilt and hold onto the better memories instead.

“I choose to remember the laughter, the music, the friendship, and all the good times we shared as teenagers finding our way into our twenties,” the tribute said. “I choose to remember the smile.”

More than 30 years later, Claude’s family and friends continue to remember the young man with blue eyes, a beautiful smile and a life full of love still ahead of him.

“A senseless act took Claude far too soon and forever changed the lives of everyone who loved him,” his friend said. “Yet even now, more than three decades later, the thought of him still brings a smile to my face.”

“And I think of him smiling back.”